Anger: Handling a Powerful Emotion in a Healthy Way
Paper: 15.2 X 23
Category: Christian Living
Anyone can become angry -that is easy, but to be angry with the right person at the right time, and for the right purpose and in the right way -that is not within everyone’s power, and that is not easy.
About the Author
Gary Chapman, PhD, is the author of the New York Times bestselling The Five Love Languages. With over 30 years of counseling experience, he has the uncanny ability to hold a mirror up to human behaviour, showing readers not just where they go wrong, but also how to grow and move forward. Gary travels the world presenting seminars, and his radio program airs on more than 100 stations.
Other titles by Gary Chapman:
- The Five Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace
- The Five Languages of Apology
- Now You’re Speaking My Language
- Hope for the Separated
- The Four Seasons of Marriage
When You Are Angry at Your Spouse
Sixth, agree to affirm your love for each other. After the anger is resolved, tell each other of your love. In doing so you are saying, “I am not going to allow this event to separate us”. As a couple, you have heard each other out, the issue has been resolved, you have learned from the experience, and you move on together.
Where genuine wrong has been committed, where one has been unkind, unloving, or unjust, resolution requires confession and repentance on the part of the one who committed the indiscretion and forgiveness on the part of the other. Anger subsides when this process has been completed. Anger has served its noble purpose of holding each of us accountable for our behaviour.
In the case of distorted anger, where the anger is aroused by a perceived wrong that later turns out to be a misunderstanding, resolution comes by means of seeking an explanation and finding that one’s original interpretation of events was wrong. The person who has not learned the difference between definitive anger and distorted anger will assume that his anger is always legitimate and the other person’s actions always wrong. Such as assumption does not allow anger to be resolved and will, in fact, stimulated anger in the spouse who knows that your anger is distorted. Your rigid insistence on being right will stimulate anger in your spouse that also needs to be resolved.
One can easily understand how unresolved anger can snowball and become an ever-increasing problem as the marriage goes one. Few things are more important to a successful marriage than learning to resolve anger in a responsible manner.
I believe a genuine commitment to these six principles will get a couple on the pathway toward productive anger management. Marriages need not be destroyed by uncontrolled anger. The Christian must set the pace in learning how to handle anger responsibly. It is my sincere desire that this book will help thousands of couples come to grips with what has become a major problem in Christian marriages. If you are married, I urge you to mutually commit yourselves to these six principles and begin today to practice them.
Table of Contents
Introduction: Our Angry World
- Where Does Anger Come From?
- When Anger Can Do Good
- When You’re Angry for Good Reason
- When Anger Is Wrong
- How to Handle “Bad” Anger
- Explosions and Implosions
- The Anger That Lasts for Years
- What about Forgiveness
- When You Are Angry at Your Spouse
- Helping Children Handle Anger
- When You Are Angry at God
- “I’m Angry at Myself”
- Confronting an Angry Person